There appears to be a rash of people with dead relatives in various other countries, or lawyers with deceased clients, who want to secure their departed's money in a nice, safe bank on U.S. soil. Further, I appear to be the only person on the planet who can help these distraught people in their time of need.
All I have to do in order to ease the grief these people are suffering and provide them with that financial anchor they're seeking is to provide all of my personal information, including details on my bank account. You know, to facilitate the electronic funds transfer of much cash to my bank account. Nothing fishy about that, right? Nah. I figure with all the cash that's seemingly available from these offers, if I were to respond to every single one of these e-Mails that I've gotten in the past six months, I could buy Microsoft out from under Bill Gates and hand it to a 13-year-old kid, who I'd then pay to rewrite the Windows software so it actually -- you know -- works.
The sad part about scams like this is that there are boneheads out there who will buy into this nonsense, and get taken for the proverbial ride. The only reason this shit persists is that there's a success rate decent enough to justify people continuing to fish for new victims.
That, and those perpetuating the schemes are oozing, festoring sores on the STD-ridden genitals of life.
And since we're talking genitals...
...it's been weeks since somebody offered to make my penis larger. I'm starting to feel self-conscious. Ditto the too-good-to-be-true no hassle mortgages. And what about the cheap drugs? What happened to those e-Mails?
Where are you, my self-appointed guardians of health, home, and pharmaceutical security?
It's obvious to me that I'm in the wrong line of work.
posted by Dayton Ward # 3:39 PM 
